Over 45's - match reports

[thegwopla]

1-1 v Baulkham Hills

The game started at a frenetic pace as these fine tuned athletes strutted their stuff on the turf at Fred Caterson. Chu started the better and probably should of been 3 up after 10minutes with chances going begging off the leather Gold Cups of the Prop (Val), the Italian Horticulturalist (Gardoni) and the Silver Fox (Kirks). (for u kids out there Gold Cups are boots). It was like watching the movie Cocoon all over again but they just didn't have a swimming pool and by god they needed one.

About 15 minutes into the game the Fatman stretched to hit a lovely square ball from the Fox only to see that his legs couldn't keep up with the momentum of his fat body and TWANG torn hip flexor. Baulko started to get more into the game creating a few chances of their own which brought out out a couple of great saves by Granto and his cane. The game evened out as the pace took its toll, a throw in resulted in a push to the back and a penalty was awarded, up stepped the Italian Horticulturalist (Gardoni) to rifle the ball into the top of the net to take Chu to a much deserved 1-0 lead. The defence of the Snake (Brian, the Wilberries (Mark and Scott) the Valley boy (Steve) and Picasso (Brendan) held firm while Fabio (Rob) was causing problems out on the left flank.

Just as things were going to plan a shot rifled in from 60 metres out trickled in past the near post while Granto was picking up his cane and glasses. Half time saw a much needed rest for these elite athletes with the scores locked at 1-1.

Looking more like a herd of paciderms than a team the mighty Chu sauntered back onto the field willing their bodies to last another 40 minutes. BANG went Picasso's hamstring so he joined the Fatman on the sidelines. The Fox was also struggling as his hamstring was shrinking by the minute, lucky he was surrounded by the solid games of Jimoein (Bobby) and the mini Glen Lazarus (Mick).

The came ebbed and flowed with Chu probably just shading Baulko with the chances and with a few seconds to go the Italian Horticulturalist tackled the Prop (Val) and the ball fell to the feet of the Fatman, with an open goal begging and communication from his brain through all the fat in his body to his legs not quite working he missed and thats where it ended as the referee brought the game to a close.

[CurveBall]

Gwopla

You take the points for the best match report so far!

Is flaming still trying to sort out who you are??

The only one who comes close is Abdul.

You could be the Master Playmaker!

[paddlepop]

What about the Admiral going down on his dodgy cankle, then getting the ball kicked into the back of his head whilst on the ground, only to see the ball go out and the opposition get the throw in.
Bloody funny that - well done Admiral!

[thegwopla]

1-2 Kellyville

Bringing the game forward to 1.00pm so that the team could go home for supper then into bed early was a great idea and it wasn't long before the mighty green machine rolled into action. A lovely corner was knocked over by Fabio and met by a powerful header from Mark Wilberry who gave the keeper no chance and the good guys go to a 1-0 lead. With stigmas on their eyes and dementia setting in the Chu defence thought they would play patti-cake, yours , no yours , no yours, its mine yelled the Kellyville striker who nipped in and fired a low shot to the left of Granto who made a valiant effort by throwing his cane as hard as he could at the ball. 1-1, Chu pushed on to get their second and under pressure the Kellyville defender hand balls the ball "play on yelled Magoo".

Kellyville were trying to catch out Chu on the break by knocking long balls but the defence of Fingers, the Wilberry's the Valley Boy, Steve Austin and the Snake held firm, Picasso was hoping around on one leg, maybe he should paint himself another leg. The Corgi was solid out wide and was aptly supported by the Fox. The Fatman limping around played Fabio in with a lovely ball but while attending to his hair he missed the ball. The Fox also with a good chance but decided to back pass it to the Kellyville keeper. Again 1-1 at the break and the boys carried their weary bodies off to the hill.

It wasn't long before the Adonas's were walking onto the pitch or was it more like the cheese rolling championships in Europe. Chu were quickly on the attack but a miss hit from Fabio hit the side netting, then on the break again with the Prop inside him as free as Gordon Wood he shoots and misses much to the Props disgust. A lapse in concentration by the Chu defence saw the Kellyville striker do his Olympic Handball trials no harm when he patted the ball forward with his hand before scoring from 1 metre. It didn't help that Dracula was in goals, maybe his cape got tangled up with his cane.

With the Wilberry's travelling up and down the line pressure was placed on the Kellyville team but Chu could not find the equaliser . Drac fought back by pulling off a good save when confronted with a 1 v 1 and thats all she wrote a dissapinting end in which i thought Chu were marginally better.

[paddlepop]

Sunday we went down 2-1 to Pendo White.

We had more shots than a Merrylands drive by, and missed just like the drive by!!!

By Sunday we looked like the Westmead Hospital Triage Department!!

But we are having fun!!

[flaminghands]

Well it looks like the gwopla has done a runner!

In his absence, mighty 45s finally recorded a win against Auburn FC 4 - 0.

CHU did not have it all its own way with Auburn missing a few one on ones in the first half. Robbie (Fabio) turned and hit one just before half time from 40 metres which ricohete'd off the post across the line and failed to go in. It would seem our luck was still out.

2nd half we scored early with a bicycle kick from scott (can you call it a bicycle kick if your other leg doesnt actually get off the ground?)...anyway it is 1 - 0 and Auburn quickly replied with an opportunity that should have been converted.

After that it was one way traffic with Kirks potting 2 (and missing another from point blank off his noggin) and another being scored by our new recruit Guy (who made a very welcome appearance as many of our other players were moving around the field (to quote snoop snoop doggy dog) like michael jackson doing a moonwalk on an escalator.

Poor old Bobby couldnt hit the side of a barn at the moment but this will change shortly...and the wilberries, Atcho, Brian all played strongly.

This week off to fred cat to play winsto who have scored 18 in the last 2 matches so lets hope our one week winning streak doesnt come to a screaming halt.

[CurveBall]

Well what a difference some fresh legs on the bench makes. The last two weeks have seen the Green Machine click with our performance against Winsto brilliant with a 8 - 0 win!

Players are now settling in and understand how each other play or try to play on one leg.

I think the referee summed up the game when i spoke to him after the match - he said "what a great game of football" ;D

[thegwopla]

8-0 v Winston Hills

Well what a couple of weeks with the green and white geriatrics turning their season around with an emphatic 8-0 defeat of the previously undefeated Winsto. Chu started strongly and were soon in control with Winsto trying to hit them on the break, on one such occasion they beat the Wilberries and brought out a fantastic save from the blind keeper who tripped over his guide dog and in doing so the ball cannoned off his blurter to keep the game at 0-0.

25 mins into the game Chu were awarded a free kick after the Fatman was brought down, play was held up while the bobcat brought on 9 buckets of soil to fill the divot. However Jimoein knocked the free kick near post which was met by the flying Golden Forehead (Guy) whose header rocketed into the top corner to take Chu to a much deserved 1-0 lead. It wasn't long before Chu were at it again when a lovely ball from Yul Brynner (Atcho) to Jimoein found Steve Austin (Neil) who brought out the old slippery dip, off the knee, down the shin and off the foot into the corner of the net for a 2-0 lead. 5 mins later another ball from Jimoein found Dorothy (Andrew) in his new boots who beat the offside trap and calmly chipped the keeper. By now Winsto were blowing up like Krakatoa and that brought us to half time.

At half time the Chu bench was abuzz with visits from Bill Shankley (Jacko) and old golden balls himself (Bezza) who dropped in from Julie's chopper. Yul (Atcho) tried to keep his comrades calm with his soothing influence.

The 2nd half stated much the same way with Chu quickly on top, a free kick out wide brought another ball from Jimoein who whipped it in forcing the defender and keeper to collide and the ball going into the net.Typical comedian tried to claim it as his own but that will go down as an oggy. 5 mins later Fabio found old Golden Forehead with a 40m pass which again rocketed into the top corner for his 2nd and Chu's 5th.

Chu were that hot now that the Rural Bush Fire Brigade was called and before they could roll out a hose Jimoein went through for a 1 on 1 with the keeper, with his bandy legs shaking and a little edgar dribbling down his legs he beat the statue with a far post finish to take the score to 6-0. Another lovely ball through from Fatman found Dorothy on the charge who also managed to beat the keeper from an acute angle to take the score to 7-0.Winsto still tried to get Chu on the break but were continually shut down by the Wilberries, the Snake, the Fox and Fingers while Nessie (Steve) and the Corgi (Mick) were menacing out wide with their speed. Nestle (Scott) played some nice balls and also missed an absolute sitter when he shanked when he should of shimmied. Then came the goal of the day, the Corgi now off the leash won a nice hard tackle and played the ball to Jimoein, Jimoein rolled out and played the Fatman who played a lovely ball through to Fabio who with locks blowing in the breeze hit a left foot half volley missile which gave the keeper no chance and finished off a fine 8-0 win.

[kirkovich]

Tackleovich kirkovich passovich grantovich passovich wilberryovich corgiovich fatmanovich groinovich kickovich jimoinovich dribbleovich passovich gardoniovich fabiovich shootovich scoreovich goalovich, goalovich, goalovich, goalovich, goalovich, goalovich, goalovich, goalovich!!!!!!!!

[kirkovich]

Tackleovich passovich dribbleovich passovich kickovich passovich fabiovich yellow cardo grantovich penaltyovich shootovich fatmanovich scoreovich missalotovich kirkovich guyovich goalovich, goalovich, goalovich, goalovich, goalovich, goalovich, goalovich, goalovich goalovich!!!!!!!!!

Jacko smokovitch a coachovitch, all der boys beerovitch!

Yound wilberry - big funny beerovitch!

[thegwopla]

9-0 v Kellyville white

On a lovely Autumn day the mighty green machine took on the Villians at Kellyville, putting studs on their homeypeds or generally just grazing on the hill the heard of cattle finally made it on the field and it wasn’t long before Chu had the ascendency, shots from Fabio, Dorothy, Nestle all going wide. A great free kick from the Fatman saw it beat the wall hit the underside of the bar onto Peter Bonetti’s melon off the post and out into the field of play. Then the Snake slid into action beating 19 players and miss kicking the ball inside the far post for a 1-0 lead. Chu were soon on the attack again when a cross from the Fatman found the Golden Forehead who smashed or shanked the ball into the net from ½ a metre out for a 2-0 lead. Another foray forward found the Golden Forehead who beat the keeper for a 3-0 lead.

Further missed chances from Dorothy who missed a header from 1 cm out and then an open goal after the Golden Forehead rounded the keeper and played him in, 3 metres out, open goal Dorothy left the red boots at home and decided to smash the ball against the cross bar for good measure much to the dismay of the Tin man and Toto. More missed chances from Nestle who wiped out the Tv antenna’s on two houses on the hill behind to goal left the score at 3-0 at half time.

The heard moved back to the hill for words of wisdom from old Shanks (Jacko) words like “he was a furlong clear at the turn” and “back the toppy in last” echoed in the players ears as they re entered the field of play.

Chu was on top again, a bit like Johnny Holmes in his heyday and it wasn’t long before ol Shanks coaching master stoke came into play. Off went the Golden Forehead (Guy) and on came the Silver Fox (Kirks), a nice ball from Yul (Atcho) found the Fox who beat the keeper with a lovely toe poke that Higgsa would have been proud of 4-0. A nice ball from Nestle who decided to pass instead of shoot much to the delight of his team mates found the Fox and boomshanka a volley that would do Dunlop proud rocketed into the net and gave Bonetti no chance in goal 5-0.

The Corgi was off the leash out wide as he continued to torment the defence and the local postman, a lovely cross found a defenders hand “hand ball” was the cry and a penalty resulted. Well up stepped Mr Magoo, with 4 goal posts and 3 keepers to aim at and a few team mates death riding him he centred in on the middle keeper and dually slotted his first and Chu’s 6th. With his chest puffed out like the Chicken Hawk from Foghorn Leghorn he made his way back to goal via instructions from his team mates.

The Maltese lothario (Vaentino) was back from holidays with a new bride, but still he had his mind on the job as did Lunch Boy (Ray) who for the 2nd week in row didn’t set up any opposition players to score. Scotty Wilberry was his usual solid self while Fabio was to busy arguing with the biggest dibber dobber in the competition. Number 7 wasn’t far away when the Fatman rounded the defence thanks to some good tight end play from Dorothy and chipped the ball over the Golden Forehead who did a lovely nancy header back over the keeper’s head to get his 3rd and Chu’s 7th.

A long toe poke caught Chu out on the break however the striker could not beat Magoo’s (Granto) guide dog nor could he beat a horizontal Nessie (Bessie) who played old school and laid down in front of goal. The Corgi went down the line again and crossed to the Fatman who could only just lift his leg in an attempted volley; the power deceived Bonetti and went in off the post to take Chu to 8-0. Yul was his calm, cool self while Nestle (Scott R) was peppering both the tennis courts and car park with consecutive shots. The Golden Forehead then came the provider when he crossed to the Fox who buried his shot from 3cm’s out to get his 3rd and Chu’s 9th.

A fine all round performance from the Geri’s considering they had 3 out, Picasso (Brendan) with his fairy floss hammy, Steve Austin (Neil) they will rebuild him but so far they have only spent $1.29. Mark Wilberry who had one of his beers fall on him breaking 6 vertebrae.

See you all next week

[flaminghands]

gwopla, your right, I wouldnt want to have dropped that huuuuge beer that Mr Wilberry was carrying around!

[thegwopla]

Won 7-0 v Pendle Hill white

On a balmy Saturday arvo the green machine decided to have a cross bar challenge against Pendo at Fred C , Chu were off to a flyer with Barge arse (Johno), Carl Barron (Bobby) and the Fox all hitting the bar while ol Forehead contributed with an air swing.Constant pressure by Chu trying to break down the 8, 2 formation finally resulted in a penalty. Up stepped Carl to beat the keeper with a nice finish from the spot, 5 minutes later Bargey (Johno) tried to slip a ball to Yul (Atcho) resulting in another penalty. Yul thought Carl (Bobby) was Deborah Kerr and ordered him to give him the ball and he dually slotted from the spot deferring his nudey run for another year. Nestle’s hammy melted and off he went to join Mark Wilberry and his special super drink that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside .

More pressure resulted in more missed chances than a sperm bank and also resulted in the bandanna wearing Russian Euro song competition entrant blowing up a treat. He was just like the Mr Potato head with the plasticine hair poking out the top and he did not like Fabio, maybe it was a battle of the hair styles who knows. For all the play Chu had they only went into the break with an Ethiopian lead (slender) 2-0 lead.

Well yet again the soothing words of Bill Shankley (Jacko) stirred the guys into action, with itches in their loins they headed back out to face Tendulker and co. Cheered on by the 3 drunks on the hill Chu decided to up the ante and it wasn’t long before fine play from the Corgi and Carl Barron saw Carl beat the keeper with a near post finish. A bit of a goal mouth scramble between Dorothy and the Golden Forehead saw the Forehead put number 4 away. The Snake was injecting himself forward with Scotty Wilberry while Fabio was arguing with Mr Potato Head.

Ray Charles was keeping a clean sheet and also injecting himself into the backline where he was dually put on his blurter by Tendulker. Bruce Lee (Ray) who flew in from Hong Kong was showcasing the silky skills which attracted plenty of attention from scouts when he was a kid. Valentino the Maltese Lothario was as solid as tent in a tsunami although he did bring his new massage therapist to help the old boys recover. Speedy Gonzalez (Bessie) kept things simple yet effective while Dorothy (Andrew) had 6 pigeons land on him.

Good play from Carl and Bargey saw Carl cut the ball back to Bargey who finished for number 5. More missed chances including a double miss from Dorothy from 1 cm out took him into the cross bar challenge lead and also earn’t him the Buck much to the delight of the Forehead who thought he had it rapt up in the first half.

The Corgi, thinking he was a whippet outpaced the defence and whipped a ball in, another goal mouth scramble saw the Silver Fox finish with a lovely strike for number 6. A nice ball through from Fabio saw Dorothy on his was to goal, then “BANG” he was hit with a Molarcchi Crunch which resulted in penalty number 3. Up stepped Picasso (Brendan) who sent the keeper the wrong way for his first non own goal in his career, only 16 more to go before he evens the ledger.

A few more missed chances saw the game end there with Chu running out 7-0 winners in the game and 9-0 winners in the cross bar challenge.

[CurveBall]

Hey Gwopla,

What about the mighty Bill Shankly, what havoc he caused. On for only a few minutes and his prowess caused such attention from the opposition he was pushed and shoved and when he smiled back the ref gave him a yellow bird!

Off to the showers he went!

[flaminghands]

Remember Sir Don in his last innings...needed 4 to get his average to 100 but got such a rousing reception, perhaps there was a tear in his eye and he got out for a quacker.

Same with Bill Shankley, he got such a rousing reception that he may have teared up and couldnt see resulting in him kicking everyone in sight!